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Confidence is something admired by many – over the years many people have commented on my confidence NLP Cardiffconfidence levels and asked how I do it.  Confidence is a big topic – social confidence, body confidence, self-confidence, confidence in business etc. Some say a lack of confidence is an issue amongst young people, some say it’s most prevalent amongst women. Some say it’s something you are born with, others say it comes and go. For others it’s most definitely something that they work at (sometimes for a lifetime). Some say the feelings of a confidence crisis are a basic human protection mechanism, others don’t really know! There is however little doubt that confidence levels impact our success and the results we achieve. The good news is that if you want to, you can become more confident …

When I was at school, I was not confident in any way (those of you who know me now, wouldn’t recognise me!). I was the kid that was often picked on – I don’t tell you this for sympathy, I tell you because I want you to know that I wasn’t really that different to anyone else. I felt cast out by the class mates frequently (and was bullied). I was different to them, I had different family circumstances and personal challenges – I was not like them in so many ways – My Mum was very very sick (from when I was about 6 years old) and so I grew up being a young career. I was not very bright (I had special lessons at primary school for reading and maths) – if fact at secondary school I was told I’d never really come to much. It was a time of low self-esteem and a severe lack of confidence. My escape was my horses  – I LOVED them – I remember riding in the snow as a small kid and the driving rain (my family could tell you many stories of what they had to endure in order to help me fulfil my dream – which at that time was to be a Horse Riding Instructor). At 13 years old I was teaching the general public at a local riding school – in that arena I was so confident – I knew what I was talking about, I was passionate, people believed in me, they listened to me, I was adding value and helping people learn and achieve things (which is where my passion for helping others was born) ….

You know what confidence is …

Confidence is a feeling and we can change our emotional state (our feelings). The thing is, if you feel a lack of confidence, then by it’s very nature, this means that you know what it looks, sounds or feels like to be confident, right? (even a little bit – because you recognise there is a difference in how you are feeling). My guess is that in one area of you life, at some point you have experienced confidence –  so, you could take what you thought, did, said etc in that area and apply it in others? what was it about those situations that allowed you to be confident? – a question worth stepping back to ponder over with a cuppa …

2 exercises to help you step towards confidence …

A word of caution: confidence challenges are held at the unconscious level (the part of our mind that drives our behaviour) and NLP professionals have a bunch of tools  in their toolbox to help people overcome confidence crisis or challenges (such as Swish Patterns, Submodalities, Anchoring and others). That said, my hope is that even if you have no NLP training or knowledge, the 2 exercises below will help to take a step towards being a more confident you!

  1. think of a confident person you would love to be like – what is that you admire about them? what is it that they do that you wish you did? what are the benefits if you were to adopt some part (even if just small) for you?  – ask yourself if you could adopt anything yourself? – consider the possibility that you can try it on like a coat – have some fun with it, give it a go – and see what feedback you get!
  2. Imagine the future and step into it: close your eyes, imagine a time in the future when will feel totally confident. Really absorb yourself in that moment, step into it – allow your mind to be really creative – what do you see going on, what do you hear, what do you feel, are there any smells or tastes that are important to you? spend a good chunk of time absorbing what’s going on allow your mind to imagine … then ask yourself one simple question: what can I learn from this? …. then open your eyes. Decide what learnings you can take from this that you can apply.

These are 2 exercises that you can have a go at today, and see what results you can achieve with them – but overall you need to take ACTION!

How would it be if you were able to sort your confidence challenge? maybe you’d be interested in talking to us about confidence coaching?


Laura is passionate about helping people realise their potential, and achieve the results they deserve. She believes, if you change your thinking, you can change your results. If you’d like to find out more about Unleash Your Potential, you can check out our NLP coursescoaching options, and link up with us via our Facebook page, follow us on Twitter or link up with Laura via LinkedIn. You can of course also email us at:

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